It’s been a while and I know, I didn’t upload as many blog posts as I would’ve liked, but my laptop broke. The motherboard has stopped working and I can’t turn my computer off, restart it or update it; right now when I sleep it, it won’t turn back on. I am currently writing this blog post on the family computer so if everything isn’t the same, that’s why.
This blog post will be reflecting on what a terrible year 2016 has been and a positive outlook on a brand new year, my resolutions and goals for 2017.
For the last year and a half, it has been pretty crap for me personally and the entire world, to be perfectly honest. Now don’t get me wrong, there have been some amazing things happen to me. These are my top 4:
1) In 2015, I went on a Disney Cruise (Mediterranean) with my mum, dad, little sister, grandma and grandad. This was an amazing holiday and I want to do it again. If you ever get chance to go on one, do it!!!!
2) Again in 2015, I started high school (and I am now in year 8) and I have made a great group of friends, and really went for it at school, I work really hard at school which really paid off in my reports (I came second in my year group, eeeek!).
3) I went to Portugal this year with my mum, dad, little sister, grandma, grandad, uncle, auntie, and cousins. Again another amazing holiday. We stayed in Albufeira and loved the old town especially.
4) I went to the caravan a few times, which I actually wrote a blog post for which you can read here. I loved going to the coats, it’s a great way to switch off from the drama and trouble the world or you personally are going through.
Now, as I said before, from around June/July 2015, it has been an awful year and a half for reasons that are very personal for me and obviously, what the world has been going through (terrorists, politics, wars etc), but I want to put that all behind me and start fresh. There are some resolution that are really personal to me which I am not going to share which I hope you understand. However, all my goals are going to be written down below so that next year, I can write another blog post reflecting on 2017 and whether I met my goals/resolutions etc. In no particular order here are my 2017 resolutions/goals:
1) BLOGGING: The first one I am going to write about is to do with blogging. Now don’t hold me to this, but I want to get at least 2 blogs up a year. I really enjoy blogging, I knew when I started this blog, that I would enjoy it just as much as I enjoy filming YouTube videos. I have always (and hopefully will always) have a passion for writing, there’s just something about it that is really relaxing and is my little happy space. Whenever I’m stressed I like to write and get it all out (most times) whether it’s blogging, writing short stories/descriptions or writing in my diary. Now of course, my laptop is broke and I am currently saving up for an IMac, which leads me on to my next resolution.
2) SAVE UP FOR AN IMAC: IMac’s are extremely expensive, the one I have got my eye on is around £1,500 give a few extra pounds. But the reason I am saving up for an IMac instead of a cheaper one (Lenovo, Acer etc) is because we have one IMac, but it’s a family one and my dad does a lot of work on it when me or my sister are not doing schoolwork on it, I’m editing videos or writing blog posts on it. And because I use apple technology a lot anyway, I thought I might as well go without my own computer for a little longer and save up for an IMac.
3) NOT CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK: As a 13 year old girl who is influenced a lot by social media, celebrities etc I find it really easy to care what other people think about me. Am I wearing the right outfit? Am I skinny enough? Do I need to buy more make-up? More clothes? Am I a nerd? Am I a geek? A few times my decisions are based upon what the media think I should be doing, not what I always want to be doing. I am a smart person, I do really well in school. I try really hard to get the levels/grades that I get and the grades that I want to get. And in doing so, I get called a nerd, a geek, a know it all etc and sometimes that makes me want to give up trying so hard, but whenever it does I always think back to what I want to achieve in later life. I want to go to Oxford and Cambridge. I want to push myself to succeed. SO whenever I get called a nerd now, I clapack. I don’t care anymore about that. I just brush it off as if it’s nothing. And if it really get’s to me one day, I snap back and tell them exactly what I think. I also need to stop caring what people think about my YouTube channel and my blog, because a lot of people do make fun of it and I just think to myself is it worth doing what I do to just be made fun of? But yes it is! If you watch my channel, you will notice a massive difference of confidence throughout my videos and that is because I have used so much effort to prove to people who do make fun of it wrong. I can upload whatever I want now and not care. But there are still a lot of things that I still care about what people think. And I need to stop caring.
4) BE HEALTHIER AND STOP EATING CRAP: Now I feel like this is on everyone’s resolutions but this year, will be MY year. I already play for my schools netball and rounders team, but for me it’s mainly the stuff I eat. Me and my family have started putting a massive ban of sweets and sugary things on weekdays, and can have a few things on the weekend. Which I think is fair. Don’t you? As well as 2 P.E. lessons a week 1-2 training sessions a week for netball, and 1-2 training sessions a week for rounders (in the summertime, rounders replaces netball when netball season ends), I want to get a few different exercise routines it to alternate by week by week. Even if I only exercise an additional once or twice that week, it’s still something more.
5) UPLOAD MORE VLOGS AND CONTENT I AM HAPPY WITH. If any of you weren’t aware, I attempted to do vlogmas last year, and even though it wasn’t the best, I enjoyed vlogging a lot and want to continue vlogging throughout 2017 because it was a lot of fun. Now, when you start YouTube, most people (like me) are really nervous and don’t really know what to do. We aren’t really ourselves to begin with and try to fit in. But even though I am still learning, I have definitely come out of my shell a lot more and I am me in my videos. I can see my personality seeping through more and more with every video. But I want more of my personality to come through. I want to be fully happy with the content I upload. And if that means missing a week, then I miss a week.
6) EXPAND SALONEVELLA: By the end of this year, my goal for YouTube is 150 subscribers. I know it’s a lot from where I am now, but as I am writing this I have 47 subscribers. For me to even get 100 subscribers would be amazing, but 150 is the number for the end of 2017. I don’t usually focus on numbers, but I would love to hit that milestone in 2017!!
7) WORK ON MY MENTAL HEALTH: This is the first time I have publicly written/spoken about my anxiety and panic attacks. I was really contemplating whether or not to include this resolution but then I thought ‘Ella, come on, in a year’s time you would want to look back at this’. Which is very true. And even though I don’t struggle with it as much as other people do, it’s still there. My anxiety is triggered by travel and when I get really stressed. It has been triggered by other things that I’m not sure as to why but that’s another story. I am alright with busses and cars, trains I don’t really use that often. Maybe once or twice a year, if that. But flying is my real problem even though it is only once a year. I know what started my anxiety around flying, which I am not going to share because other people’s anxiety may be triggered by it. But I am working on it, but in 2017, I really want to get it nailed. Along with travel, stress usually trigger’s it. In November, I had mock exam week. And I know what you are thinking “Ella, you are only in year 8, why are you having mock exams?” Well to answer your question. The government have taken out coursework for GCSEs (which you take in year 11) so it is 100% exam. If you fail your exam, you fail your course with no coursework to bring up your level. But this is a whole other discussion. So, that week I was playing netball for school, and tripped and hit my head, when I hit my head I split my eyebrow open and had to go to A&E, to get it glued and had mild concussion. But I had exams the next day, and if it was a real GCSE I would have to go in to school to take it anyway. The next morning, I had a panic attack because when you are in the exam hall, you aren’t allowed to go to the toilet. I had asked to go, because I felt ill (obviously) which the invigilator had told me I couldn’t go. This set me off again and I had a panic attack at the back of the hall and I had to stay silent. I couldn’t go anywhere at all. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t look around. I just sat there with tears streaming down my face having a panic. Then another invigilator comes and tells me I can go to the toilet because of what had happened the day before, but I had to be escorted to the toilet and back. Also, if you were wondering, I did get sent home later that day.
8) BE HAPPY: This will sound really cliche, but because of the last year and a half, I really just want to be a lot happier in myself and with everything. I know there will be those inevitable days when I feel like crap. But overall for 2017, I want to be happy.
Those are my main resolutions for 2017, I hope you have a great year. What are your resolutions/goals for 2017? Leave a comment telling me about it down below.